It's a very good thing that I'm comfy with failure. I woke up this morning, a nice slow start, lingering over Brian's company and the hot coffee in my hand, then wham! Oh crap, I forgot to blog last night. Fail.
Crinkled nose, several cups of coffee and a chapter on cattle herding later, finds me here.
I don't have anything flashy or divine to make up for the lost day. Apologetic of course, but no excuses either. I just forgot.
I'd spent the day with my mom, traveling to northern Minnesota to celebrate my nephew's graduation. It was going to be a long day in the car (8 hours round trip) but I still looked forward to it; Mom's company, my sister's quirks, my niece and nephew's hugs. Delightfully surprised by the attendance of aunts, uncles and cousins that I'd not seen since my father's passing in 1986.
Strange how time stands still. Auntie Carol, still the tiniest of women with the most enthusiastic greetings. The kind that make you immediately feel missed and loved. Don, dry and witty, still cracks me up. Richard friendly, patient and charming.
I wondered on the way home what propels us to grow up, move away, transplant roots that are already established.
When I arrived home, I met up with my husband and the other side of my family swilling back their eleventieth pot of coffee, kids running and laughing, and was immediately, and excitedly, "sat down" for a family proposal.
Hmmmm? Was this the caffeine's juice at work? Maybe the arrival of nephews from North Carolina. Or is it South Carolina? I never can remember. There was a buzz in the air and it was most certainly a good buzz.
Brian, with salesmanship poured into his veins, started quietly. Ah, the soft sell. Land Kate, lots of land, room for cattle, we'll do it together, all of us. We have mothers to think about, cousins that should be growing up together, room for every whim and every adventure....
I already knew what they were trying to sell. I knew it at "Land Kate" but I still wanted to hear his words, their words for things like intentional community, walking and speaking quietly to build trust, not putting pressure on the family flight-zone, fueling the group instead of feeding a lone ego, strength in numbers, pooling resources.
They pitched me the building of a foundation herd.
I don't have a (human) model to draw upon, or a handbook to guide me. So this one, I'm willing to jump into. With both feet and eyes wide. With the herd. Ready to fail, instead of not trying.